CHIRPY MORNING!

Right? It's not so chirpy afterall.

I'm up at this HEAVENLY hour because I'm preparing for my lesson later on. I've gotta teach like 28 ravenous kids at a Tennis Court. =) I can't believe I've been preparing all night, yet, I feel as though I gotten nothing prepared. I'm getting the jitters you know. The feeling is different when you are preparing to teach a bunch of kids under the name as a NAFA student, and when you are preparing to teach a bunch of kids under YOUR OWN HUGE BIG ASS NAME. It definitely adds pressure. Ms Lim is nice and all, but please don't forget, I sorta made her cry when I was young.

Dang, pays for being a baby tyrant. Now I'm definitely clearing up my own shite.

You know, I took the MRT yesterday and I realised what an interesting place the MRT is.

All sorts of weird people take the MRT can.

The MRT can be the most delightful cum most anal place to be.

Times when I HATE the MRT

1) Standing in the mist of office workers in the morning.

I always happen to be part of a salad bowl. All their overpowering perfume scents make me feel as though I'm a Jackfruit. It's okay if you use Red apple delicious or Green apple delicious. But it's so wrong if you use other scents like papaya, grapefruit, orange, banana, grapes, lemon, lime, AIYA! YOU GET MY POINT LA. And it's even WAY WORSE when we have people smelling like flowers. Oh holy shit, I've plenty of flowers at my work place, I've plenty of flowers at home, and I've plenty of flowers EVERYWHERE. Please stop smelling like a orchid just because you wanna feel patriotic.

ALSOALSOALSO! Can these people stop smelling like CK 123456789? Why must each and every fucking single homosapien use a different brand/kind/FLAVOUR/FRUIT/FLOWER of perfume! You know, with so many different scents trying to overpower each other, one scent would definitely overpower the others. And those weaker scents have definitely been wasted! Who knows by the time you reach your destination, your perfume has already been beaten by all the other scents, wasteful hor? AND HELLO! I can tell you who the domineering scent will be.

Body Odour. Not your own body odour, but some bloody serangapani whom decided that Jasmine flowers is the most expensive and exclusive perfume in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. AHHHH!

Therefore, I persuade each and everyone of you to unify your perfume scent. And that would have to be, DOLLY GIRL.

Smelling like a dolly beats anything in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Guys can smell like Dollies too. Never heard of Ken before huh? So if you want to be as handsome and hunky as Ken, please start using Anna Sui Dolly Girl. AH! If you wanna be as pretty and busty as Barbie, please use Anna Sui Dolly Girl as well! =D

2) ACT OLD, ACT PREGGERS Auntie Syndrome.

Oei! If you are not fat nor preggers, can stop acting like one anot! I hate it when I see those white haired ah mas, taking ages to walk in a bloody train. When the train starts moving, they act as though they are gonna get all brittle and break/shatter into a thousand pieces. Yet, when the train door opens at City Halll and the opposite train is here, THEY RUN LIKE A MAD FUCK! Hoihoi! And yet they can sprint faster than me! OH HOLY COW! What on earth is happening! So please! Lucky I'm always one of the mean ones, I'd never give up my seat to FAKERS. How to differentiate a faker from a genuiner (stupid word)?

Simple la!

Just look at their faces. I can even tell their fortune from their faces lor.

AND THOSE FUCKING FAT BITCHES WHOM ACT AS THOUGH THEY ARE PREGGERS!

Please la! Fat means fat! Fat doesnt mean it takes more effort to stand on a train! By right, those fat people are supposed to gain better balance than the skinny tall people can! Your CG aka center of gravity is lower, hence easier to balance!

Don't tell me fat people have to carry more of their weight. No such crap. I am fat and I know. But the only difference is that I've legs that are neverending. Hence the CG is higher than the normal fatsos. So no choice! I must fight for seats! You think I wanna fight for seats ah!? So auntie la! Please hor! Those fatsos, please SELF CHECK HOR.

AND ALSO! Those fat people. ONCE YOU SIT DOWN, You arse takes up 1 and 1/3 of the seat. HOW YOU EXPECT PEOPLE TO SIT NEXT TO YOU! Don't try and be funny can. You are so fat yet you are so proud that you take up 1 and 1/3 of the seat. Think what? Show off that your ride is value for money ah?! Value for money my fucking ass la! Once you stand up, TWO PEOPLE can sit in your place lor. Anyway remember your CG is so low, please la, you won't fall for fuck la.

3) BITCHES WHOM HAVE TOO BIG A BAG / PEOPLE WHO THINKS BAG HAVE ASSES!

HA NAH! Those bloody bitches la! So skinny, yet bag so big. So what if your ass doesn't take up 1 and 1/3 of the seat. Your bloody bags sticks out until the others don't have place to sit la! Stick out at one end nevermind. YOUR BAG STICKS OUT AT BOTH ENDS! Which means, you actually took 1 and 2/3 worth of seats. Screw you la, please go home and change your bags.

Please hor, don't think you skinny then you win hor.

But as for the fat bitches whom have big bags. It's totally okay. Because since your ass already constitude 1 and 1/3 of the seat. might as well put your extra portion of your bag on your lap? I'm so rooting for you.

Right, simply because I am one of them. =) Big girls + Big bags = PRINCESSES!

AND! AND! Those aunties! Please hor! Do marketing already don't put your wet produce on the seats can! The fishes/vegetables/rottenmeat don't need to sit la! Unless they are alive, then you come and tell me again!

4) COUPLES WHOM GET ALL SO LOVEY DOVEY ON THE DAMNED TRAIN.

Darling, ONLY if you are handsome/pretty, then you'd have the right to do so. AND ONLY if you are Jamie Ng/Edison Chen, then you'd have the right to do so. Anything else besides that, please go chew on your daddy's golf balls.

I can't believe couples looking like shit, smearing themselves all over each other. The worse thing is, when they are of contrasting heights.

Imagine the guy's as tall as Mr Kentucky, the girl's as short as a 10 year old school girl. Please la! You smear yourself over each other, your bloody cock is like jabbing in her bellybutton la! Aiya! Not exactly, but you get my point la. Ahh, too disgusting for me to go on. -_-

ALSO! Those bucks toothed bitches, please hor, shou lian (keepface) a bit hor. I can't stand the idea of you gnawing your teeth into your boyfriend's gums.

WHATEVER THE CASE IS, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM FUCKING PDA IN TRAINS. I still wanna have my huge eyes bright and all sparkly!

AH SHIT! I've bitched so much that I might be late for class! AHHH!

Anyway, to sum up the recent happenings. I visited Ju yesterday, saw the DKNY's Nicholas. Bloody bastard la he, forever like that. How handsome also cannot save his character. He's a nice guy la, but only if he learns how to say the correct things at the correct timings. He also needs to learn what to say and what NOT to say to a girl. Somehow or rather, I'd kill him if he was my boyfriend. BUT HE'S SO NOT, so let him rot and die in his own world. No wonder until now still no girlfriend. So handsome don't know for what use.

Love,

Jams.

I MISS JU.