Mother's Day

It just so happens that I gotta blog about my sweet mum on Momsie Day. I didn't plan for it. I swear I definitely did not.

Why I love my mum. Why I love my mum. There isn't exactly a WHY. Perhaps maybe after reading this 'short story', you'd have a clearer and deeper understanding on why I love my mum so much and would even give up Edison if she disapproves of him. Till now, she approves of him. =)


This incident happened on 11 May 2007

As sore as it was, I had a rough day at work. 'Was unhappy over certain issues. Not as though there's a fellow colleague / boss for me to be unhappy with. Not as though I'd be pissed off over trival matters pertaining customers. So what's there left for me to be unhappy about? Well, that's definitely for me to know and for you to find out. I doubt anyone cares anyway.


Around 7 pm, I gave momsie a ring, and told her to come fetch me and bring me out for dinner/supper/whateveryouthinkitis. Momsie refused. After my incessant whines, she gave in. I didn't allow her the slightest chance to air her views. Momsie mentioned she wanted to watch the telly, but Jamie simply blast 'I don't care's into her ears. Rude I know, but that's me when I'm down (oh and ravenous). Momsie gave in. GAVE IN TO ME. Which also meant that she promised to fetch me at Bedok Mrt and bring me for a meal.


I mean seriously that is all I needed to cheer up. Food and company. I just needed momsie to be around me. Not as in listen to my prob, but to show me that I still have someone to love and care for me.



Yes, and as expected, she 'lied' to me. Okay, not as if she lied to me on purpose. She didn't lie, she just didn't turn up. But it so happened that Stink Jess fell asleep, hence momsie couldn't leave Jess with Jo. Jo'd probably murder Jess, no, I ain't joking peeps.


I was so pissed, that I shouted at Dad. (Dad came to fetch me) Dad offered to buy dinner, Jams shouted and refused, playing the big missy that she always is.

When I reached home, I opened momsie's door and gave her one hard glare even though momsie was looking really apologetic and wanted to explain the entire situation to me. I cooped myself in my room right after that. Didn't even wanna come out to shout at anybody. That was how pissed I was. Oh, and remember that Jamie is hard to tackle with when she is hungry? Apparently I did not eat for the entire day, so I guess that's where all the bad 'qi' comes from. Momsie scolded Dad for not buying dinner BEFORE fetching me. Yes it makes a difference. DON'T ASK ME WHY. READ AND DON'T ASK.


Hours later, momsie knocked gently on my door. I was dumbfounded. No one knocks doors in this house, we barge. Momsie came in with a tray. A wine glass with milo dinosaur, an apple saucer with 3 half-boiled eggs, 4 triangle pieces of bread with crust removed, and cream crackers with butter spread on. All laid out in the nicest manner ever on a Barney plate.

It's sweet enough that she specially woke up to prepare food to appease me. (Mind you, 1 am in the morning, my mom's a fucking civil servant working in a primary school.)

What was even sweeter was that, she took the effort to bring out the pretty cockery (including the wine glass okay). My house only uses rubbish plates and bowls that look as though the begger sect donated them to us.

I asked momsie what's with the wine glass and the pretty cockery. She could have made do with some smelly cup.

Momsie said, "Pretty cockery then can cheer you up ma. Mummy broke her promise, so have to find ways and means to make it up to you and make you happy! And you, I know you'd definitely give in when you see this kinda pretty things. Mummy knows you the best. You come home glare at me, I straightaway know what's up. And you see, just by making you a simple meal but using all the fancy stuff, you've forgiven me! This whole family, I know you the best."


I could have cried like a whale. (Oh do whales cry? I don't know. But I know babies cry.)

Okay, rephrase,

I could have cried like a baby.

But babies cry when they are irritated with their nappy rash. (Oh do babies cry when they are touched? They don't cry when they get fed breastmilk. They don't cry out of gratitude, don't they? They probably cry because the breastmilk stinks like soymilk. Oh! But do soymilk stink? That's a whole different topic altogether.)

REPHRASE,

I could have cried like a human. (Now this is definitely right, humans cry, and humans cry when they are touched. Not when they are being TOUCHED on the ass, but when they FEEL touched.)

But yes, I guess that's the reason why I'd even give up Edi just to make momsie happy.

I won't wanna wish momsie a Happy Mother's Day. Reason being, if I do not wish her a Happy Mother's Day, then this supposed Happy Mother's Day wouldn't be the only day in which I treat her like a Queen. I wanna be nice to my momsie EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY (and night).

Momsie's right, everyday's mother's day to her. Duh! She's a mother everyday what. No la, I knew she meant that we're all very nice to her. Well, my momsie definitely deserves it. No one knows what my momsie has been through. Ivy always tells me that I've the best mum in the world.

Not only Ivy, but majority of my friends around me.

Does that say something about my mum? Yes it definitely does. I'm proud to have such a mum.

I bought momsie 3 tops from Msw. Momsie tried on those 3 tops 3 times EACH! She couldn't help smiling to herself and grinning from breast to breast.

No mum doesn't grin with her breast, but when she's happy, her milk squirts out, something like ejaculation.

OH PLEASE! I AM JOKING! DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY! But momsie still breastfeeds.




The other day, I asked momsie why am I such a huge piece of lard. Maybe not lard, but something along those lines. Actually no la, I asked her why my bone structure is so big and why am I a plus sized girl.

Momsie simply replied, "Of course! I breastfed you for 6 months!"

Immediately, Jamie said, "Huh, I 6 months already so big size. Jess is in trouble. She is still being breastfed! And she plans to stop only when she's of 6 years of age!"


HAHAHAHAHA! LAUGH! QUICK LAUGH! I laughed for the whole day. =D It's so funny! Ok, only if you can picture this joke as an animated comic strip, or maybe a comedy show.


Okay! About jokes. Rayner gave me a few riddles the other day when I was totally zonked out.

One riddle made me giggle to my handphone. Bad case of giggles, I warn you.


Went home, told momsie. That bitch laughed louder than I did!


Riddle: Why did the bird drop from the sky when it saw an airplane? (Along those lines la, can't remember SIC)






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Answer: The plane was so loud that the bird covered its ears! AH HA!

You'd only laugh if you have a wonderful, animated, imagination, just like me and momsie.






Hey, I've blogged enough to keep you occupied for sometime.


It's time I meet Edi now! I don't wanna be late!



It's fate that brought us together. It's fate that brought us apart. Everything was meant to be. So just leave it to fate. Pluck up the courage. See you again.











LOVE,

BIG FAT PLUS SIZED JAMS.